Who comes up with this shit?

Think bad TV ads, think god awful billboards, think self opinionated fashionistas.

This is where we review awful tv advertising, bad billboards and horrendous product and service promotions, or the occasional horrendous fashion item.

Have you ever been sitting in your living room watching TV and watched an advert and thought; "Who comes up with this shit?" Well we have, many times.

We have a passion for marketing, advertising and branding. Packaging and Billboards, film and fashion are our passion.

If you have seen a terrible ad, billboard or product promotion, please get in touch and send them in to us!

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lewisnoll

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I’m on the tube platform. I’m on my way home. I’m full of Christmas reverie. I smell of whisky, and cinnamon, and fags. My eyes are heavy with alcohol. I watch two dusty mice scuttle between the train tracks, fighting over an abandoned Burger King. It glistens with fat. In my sobreness I would show disdain for Burger King, but tonight, with my tiredness and drunkenness, it looks unctious and juicy, and I yearn for it. I stumble my head upwards and try and focus…

"The.. dead of… winter. All is.. silent *hic*.. The …world hushshshed by a thick covering of snow… strident flavours.. dank mush*burp*rooms… crispy goose fat… "

I read it again.. trying to distill the images that are being painted before me. I try and imagine why mushrooms have waited patiently in a fridge, why goose fat is considered “crisp”, and how something can be ‘dusky’ and ‘clean and bright’ at the same time..

And also, to decide ‘Who writes like this? This cod-romantic pennyfiffle? This prosaic fannyflap , like they’ve been fucked in the brain by the spastic seed of Alan Bennett? Who has come up with this shit?”

I glance to the bottom, the centre, the middle.

That knobjockey, Nigel Slater, that’s who!

Don’t look at her - she’s shit! Lucy Montgomery is growing up. In the late noughties she showed us her wild side, almost defining the BBC3 comedy brand as we now know it with sketch show “Tittybangbang”. Who can forget seepy-breasted Maxine Bendix, and her awful plastic surgery? Or the show-off Italian Cleaner who implored us not to look at her “I’m shy!”. Well, I’m guessing Lucy Montgomery is after a bigger house, or needs to pay school fees, or something. That’s surely the only reason someone would ever deign to appear in such poorly written, humourless, focus-less drivel as this new set of Ryvita Thins ads.. Poor Lucy.

The essence of these ads is as thinly conceived as the Ryvita. Three women with learning difficulties play ‘houses’ and ‘dress up’ in the hope of rehabilitaion into normal society. They endeavour to interact via role-play in a set of sketches where they imagine this is what real women are like. If you are a real woman, and you’re like this, you should be ashamed of yourself.

I kept watching these ads, hoping I was missing some subtle innuendo, that Montgomery might suddenly explode, and the others use her splattered innards as dip. No such luck. This is what the three most boring women in the world look and sound like.

"Dont touch till the others arrive!" - Yeah, the other’s aint coming. They’ve seen the three of you in this series of ads, and they chose death.

A joke with no punchline. Therefore, not a joke. Just a string of randomness about diet crispbread. Really, who comes up with this shit?

Originality is DEAD. AGAIN.

USwitch is a UK based energy provider comparison website.

In the past they have been known for their singing choir adverts, which were a huge hit. Really well executed and very popular.

This pile of shyte is a massive rip off of creature comforts a fantastic BBC animation (Example: -http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ob-OVUoJ1RM)

Anyway, the reason this is so badly done is that there is no attempt to try to even make it vaguely original. The animated mouths on the animals are probably the worst I have ever seen.

It is bland and pointless.

I appreciate what they were trying to do when they made this, but lets be honest, there is so much more they could have done, a million other ideas would have been better.

If you made this advert and it was your idea can you tell me why you think its ok to rip off other peoples ideas. If you are going to do a homage to a classic then at least make sure it as good.

If you know who came up with this piece of shit let me know! Thanks

So, your asked by a fucking weirdo in an airport if your toothpaste works? You are told your breath stinks like garbage but WAIT! There’s a magical futuristic fucking wonder tool from Colgate that actually scans your teeth and shows what an unhygienic idiot this woman is. Come back tomorrow, he’s fucking waiting to scan your fucking teeth with his lame fucking Harry Potter magical wand. FML!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

What’s worse than an awful tasting beef gravy?!! Making a CGI bull made of this shit and having it dance around on your table to the most annoying record in the history of mankind. Fuck me, did the advertisers not think ‘This bull looks like a slimy shit sculpture?’ ‘This won’t put anyone off eating their Sunday roast?’ ‘The steam is rising of the gravy bull, but he leaves no marks on the counter?’ A HOT STEAMING PILE OF GRAVY SHITE.

Autoglass repair. Autoglass replace. Autoglass fuck. Seriously, you’d have to be a fucking tool to be conned by the poor CGI tricky in this advert…there should be a law against this. As for Luke, I want to him to quit acting in fucking crap adverts and bring me to the back of his van for a squirt of his repair resin ^__^

ARGHHH fucking awful.

McDonalds Eurosaver campaign…Set in Dublin in the year 2222, this awful piece of advertising makes me want to tear myself apart right down to the sinew. Whether it’s the annoying characters, the dumbed down laddish vision of the future or the terrible overuse of CGI, this is a bad ad. If Dublin is like this in 2222 - Captain Kirk, get your phaser out and vaporize me now! >:(

Fuck a duck who comes up with this shit?

Liv Tyler you big douche! What the fuck is wrong with these people? How much more contrived do you want to get? 

WEAK, LIMP AND FUCKING LIFELESS.

The biggest pile of shyte of the week.

Fuck my life, who comes up with this shit?

Just shoot me now… 

have you even had a look at the APR??? WTF??!!!! 1465% 

WCUWTS….?

Words total escape me with this new Microsoft advert.

Who is the agency that made this? 

First of all, anyone who uses wordart in their presentations should be imprisoned for life.

Secondly, who sits in the kitchen with their son, making spreadsheets.

Who comes up with this shit? When you find them. Shoot them.

Thank you. 

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