Don’t look at her - she’s shit! Lucy Montgomery is growing up. In the late noughties she showed us her wild side, almost defining the BBC3 comedy brand as we now know it with sketch show “Tittybangbang”. Who can forget seepy-breasted Maxine Bendix, and her awful plastic surgery? Or the show-off Italian Cleaner who implored us not to look at her “I’m shy!”. Well, I’m guessing Lucy Montgomery is after a bigger house, or needs to pay school fees, or something. That’s surely the only reason someone would ever deign to appear in such poorly written, humourless, focus-less drivel as this new set of Ryvita Thins ads.. Poor Lucy.
The essence of these ads is as thinly conceived as the Ryvita. Three women with learning difficulties play ‘houses’ and ‘dress up’ in the hope of rehabilitaion into normal society. They endeavour to interact via role-play in a set of sketches where they imagine this is what real women are like. If you are a real woman, and you’re like this, you should be ashamed of yourself.
I kept watching these ads, hoping I was missing some subtle innuendo, that Montgomery might suddenly explode, and the others use her splattered innards as dip. No such luck. This is what the three most boring women in the world look and sound like.
"Dont touch till the others arrive!" - Yeah, the other’s aint coming. They’ve seen the three of you in this series of ads, and they chose death.
A joke with no punchline. Therefore, not a joke. Just a string of randomness about diet crispbread. Really, who comes up with this shit?